Use Your Words (With Care)

I find the rants and opinions offered by other bloggers to be really interesting and entertaining. It’s a wonderful thing to see how others deal with the trials of their day to day lives. Knowing that well, I’m not alone in facing the challenges of each coming day.

One such post I came across was called ‘Use Your Words‘ on Silver Linings Daily. They’ve recently re-iterated the point in ‘Please Just Let Me Reiterate/ Talk Vs. Do.’ It’s very open and honest with a sense of frustration; It seems like an issue that Lucy is really passionate about and so I’m going to make my own mention of it here.

Despite my introversion, I’m actually a really chatty person, but there are many people in my life that aren’t. There have been times where a lack of communication has led to misunderstandings and disputes. While I understand that everybody has bad days or they don’t always feel like talking, there have been many heated moments that could have been avoided with a simple utterance of the words, ‘I’m having a bad day, but I’d rather not talk about it.’

If I’m around a person that appears to be really upset about something I tend to approach them by asking if they’re ok and then telling them that if they need anybody to talk to they know where I am. This shows that I’m thinking about them, but at the same time there’s no pressure to have to share it. On a lot of occasions they’ll be very quick to correct me by stating that there is ‘absolutely nothing wrong at all‘, only the dampness in their eyes, the frown and the shakiness to their voice tells a different story. In such a situation I can’t help but continue to worry in case something terrible has happened and it’s being kept from me. Usually when the truth is revealed, it’s not as bad as what the imagination left unchecked will conjure up. It can also be good not to bottle these things up.

Then there’s those unpleasant moments where the person in question is acting off and snapping at any attempt to be in their presence. In those cases I’m not sure if I’ve done something wrong and it’ll leave me feeling very uncomfortable – not knowing where to put myself. Other times I’ll be given snippets of information about how such and such said this about me or is doing that. I’ve even had this, ‘no offence but…‘ cut off with, ‘nevermind, forget I said anything.‘ Again, once the truth is revealed it’s usually a relief compared to how my mind is filling the gaps. I think many of us humans actually share similar insecurities and the things we are hiding aren’t actually as bad as what others will think we are keeping hidden – I’ve often found this to be the case anyway. Obviously I’m not suggesting that we share all of our secrets with the world, but if we regularly wear out emotions on our sleeves we also can’t expect to never be picked up on it either. Admittedly, having depression/anxiety is a part of the problem for me as it doesn’t take much to get me to worry.

We’re all capable of getting angry or upset, but there are times when those wild flaring emotions can cause a lot of harm to our relationships and the people around us. It is a problem that could sometimes be avoided by using a few well chosen words – this is partly why I am a bit of an open book. The way we behave can influence and rub off on others (for example, surrounding ourselves with happy people can have a positive impact on our own moods.) People aren’t mind readers, and so we can’t always understand why a person seems to be acting unreasonably or if we’ve made a mistake until it is explained to us. Leaving our intentions up to assumption can only lead to the danger of misinterpretation; An experience that has caused me a lot of heartache in the past, hence why the passion shown through Silver Linings Daily resonated with me.

I’ve previously been given the impression that words don’t really matter because we can choose to ignore them, but I don’t fully agree. I think within our society words are very important and that we have an emotional connection to them as well as a responsibility to try and use them with care when it really matters. They can be used as weapons to tear people down, to convince us to take up new ideals or to bring hope when we need it most. It isn’t always easy to get right either; Different people are affected by different words and then there are cultural differences as well as upbringing. Then there are those times when sometimes… just sometimes, a lack of words can cause more harm than what could have been said…

…Even if it’s just to reassure somebody that you love them…

… Don’t let it go unsaid.

If you have your own stories to tell feel free to use your words in the comments below…

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About wallcat

I have a strong passion for computing. In particular programming for which I am able to use a variety of languages including C++, Visual C#, Blitz Basic, Actionscript 2.0, Python and Lua. I also enjoy web-design and have some knowledge of HTML/CSS, PHP/SQL and Javascript. As well as programming I have a strong background in art and enjoy drawing in my spare time. When I’m not sat at my computer I like to keep fit by going to the gym or using my exercise ball.

8 responses to “Use Your Words (With Care)”

  1. anopiniononlife says :

    I love this post! Silver linings daily is actually a good friend of mine and we both feel rather strongly about this. I would like to talk with you about this, how can I contact you?

  2. Pasduil says :

    Good post and great advice!

    I must admit I’m kinda in awe that you’ve gotten to be so wise so young. It took me much much longer to learn such things as you’re saying here.

    Alas, people’s actual behavior tends not to be much influenced by good advice except in some pretty specialized circumstances. 🙂

    • wallcat says :

      Aww thank you. I like to think I’m always learning all the time. I agree, usually when writing about certain subjects it’ll only connect with the people that have already decided they feel the same way too. I think because we spend years developing our beliefs and so it’ll take a lot to convince us otherwise. Experience probably shapes us the most, and sometimes we even have to make a few mistakes – despite all the advice we’ve been given – to learn about ourselves and the world we inhabit. It’s just a shame when those mistakes turn into huge regrets.

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