Celebrate The Small Things: 2 September

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It’s not been an easy week. Well it’s not been an easy year at all, with so many changes coming at once. I think we all experience years like this from time to time. My granddad passed away a week ago and we’re currently feeling the hurt that accompanies such a loss. He had Alzheimer’s and I know he wasn’t happy so we’re at least able to find comfort in knowing that he’s at peace. We also had some major milestone birthdays to celebrate which managed to put a smile back on people’s faces – I know my granddad would prefer that. We had a lovely day out. The weather was warm, a good excuse for ice cream. I’ve seen lots of wild flowers around, inspiring me for my own garden – I really can’t wait to have my own garden.

I made the difficult choice to let go of a friendship this week. This person has hurt me a lot, but despite this I still cared for them. Its lifted a weight because I was carrying this guilt around due to the resentment I felt for a person that I was still trying to connect with. I’ve now finally acknowledged my feelings and my right to hurt over how they treated me, and with that I no longer have to feel any guilt or shame. It’s not my fault that they treated me the way they did. This is probably a kindness to both of us, allowing us both to move on from what happened. Our moving out day is coming closer and I’m thinking of this as a fresh new start in my life, which also means dealing with the parts that haven’t been working for me. People have told me that they’re proud of me for making this decision and dealing with it as sensitively as I have done. I don’t want this person to carry any guilt around that will prevent them from moving on, I just wanted them to know how serious things were so that they treat the next person better and hopefully experience a relationship the way its meant to be. In my attempts to find silver linings I guess I could say that this experience has taught me how to spot problem areas in a friendship and that while it might be scary it’s important to acknowledge your own feelings and to set boundaries. This experience has also inspired me for a story I’m currently working on. These sorts of problems affect a lot of people despite being fairly misunderstood, so I think it’s important for them to know that there are others out there that are going through the same thing.

So this week I’m celebrating the prospect of a brighter future and making the first few steps to get there.

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Celebrate the Small Things is a weekly celebration created by VikLit and now hosted by Lexa Cain to celebrate the happenings of the week, however small or large. You can learn all about it and sign up for it here.

 

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About wallcat

I have a strong passion for computing. In particular programming for which I am able to use a variety of languages including C++, Visual C#, Blitz Basic, Actionscript 2.0, Python and Lua. I also enjoy web-design and have some knowledge of HTML/CSS, PHP/SQL and Javascript. As well as programming I have a strong background in art and enjoy drawing in my spare time. When I’m not sat at my computer I like to keep fit by going to the gym or using my exercise ball.

6 responses to “Celebrate The Small Things: 2 September”

  1. lexacain says :

    My condolences about your grandfather. At least birthdays still give a good reason to celebrate and be cheerful. You’re right about cutting off a hurtful relationship. We all have to be our own advocates — we must protect ourselves as if we are a parent protecting a child. If you don’t, no one will. Never feel guilt if you’re sure what you’re doing is the best thing for YOU – let the other person worry about what’s best for them. That isn’t your job. Good luck!

    • wallcat says :

      We can find ourselves clinging onto a person because we’re afraid of being alone, feel guilty that we can’t support them or we keep hoping that it’ll get better. I often have difficulties with listening to my own emotions, but will take on board what everybody else is feeling. Then that realization hit me… it’s not my responsibility to worry for others, especially when I’m not even taking care of my own emotional needs. It’s not selfish to put ourselves first at all, it’d be risky to keep hoping another person will do that for us. Thank you for such an uplifting and thoughtful comment.

  2. lauraclipson says :

    I’m sorry to hear about your granddad, but I’m glad you’re able to find silver linings in both of the situations you talk about. Sometimes letting someone go is the right thing to do.

  3. Lori L MacLaughlin says :

    So sorry to hear about the passing of your granddad. And letting go of a friendship can bring its own form of grief. It sounds like you did the right thing, though. There’s no point in keeping a friendship that is hurting you. It’s great that you were able to learn from the experience and move on. You have to take care of yourself and do what’s right for you. Life’s too short to do otherwise.

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